I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize