There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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