I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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