They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
