you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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