direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
