I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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