If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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