i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
