dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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