no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
