only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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