ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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