That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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