You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
