if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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