I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
