STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
