I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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