ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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