Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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