Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
