I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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