hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
