would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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