i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
