So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
