I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I think I just sharted jello shots
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
