I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
