Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
