I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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