Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize