Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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