I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
how does that bad decision feel?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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