My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize