We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
