My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
