I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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