I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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