Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
