I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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