yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
