Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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