how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
