clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
