I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize