Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
