im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
