I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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