how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
