Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
