I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
