3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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