Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize