C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize