I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize