either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Randomize
