I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
