how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize