Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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