Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
