Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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