apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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