When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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